"SMITTEN"

Yes, it has been quite awhile since i have posted on here and in a lot of ways I can say that is a good thing. I say that because it means that my life is taking a new path, and for once it is truly and deeply wonderful. My business is finally taking off and i have a very special someone to thank for so much for that. Though he may not know, his insight, strength, wisdom and support has led me to find apart of myself i have only dreamt about. It is now 4:30am (yes i am crazy) but after just hanging up the phone with the one i can honestly say has inspired me in so many ways my mind just cant shut off quite yet. My whole world in the past 4 months has taken a change that i did not see coming. A turn into a world that I always looked at through a broken window in hopes of one day clearing the cracks and seeing the real picture. Due to the grace of God and in my belief the guidance of a few others from up above, those cracks are gone and I am able to now see what true love and beauty is. Throughout the course of this relationship i have been able to experience the joy of peace, harmony, respect, passion. compassion, the soulfulness of another being, the true beauty in faith and love, the unconditional aspects that can really be brought into a life, and above all the ultimate high of feeling totally and utterly complete. My "puzzle" that has been so scattered is now piecing itself together and making the most amazing picture known to man. I wish every living creature weather it be human, animal or even terrestrial could experience or even feel a glimpse of what I am feeling. Everyone deserves this sort of happiness. Though times may seem as if I am reaching out and no one is there to grasp my hand and pull me out of the whirlwind of loneliness, I know deep down I am not alone. I have the most amazing people surrounding me right now, and I have one truly wonderful man reaching for me just as much as i am reaching for him. We have a few angels helping to pull us together and show us that love is real, and TRUE love is something that really is a deep emotional encounter that takes over your entire body. Not just your mind and heart, but your soul and every inch of who you are. Treacherous paths can cause havoc and some situations can make you wonder what is going to come of it all, but in the end if you can climb the mountain and see the light of day on the other side, together you can conquer the world.

I can say with confidence that i have found the one.....we have found each other. Seems so strange to say or even think for that matter, cause I really gave up on the hope that this type of thing even existed. I know there are a few long roads ahead for the both of us, and I know that times are not always going to be as perfect as we both hope for, but one thing I do know is that the emptiness and the hurt I have felt throughout the course of my life is no longer going to linger with me. I have been able to move past it and I have been able to really see that every crack in my window was worth it. As much as somethings hurt, and as much as I didn't think I would ever recover, my soul mate, the one who is completing my world came to me with just a glimpse and a few simple words.

Some may say that this is all because it is so new, and so exciting, but I know that is not the case. You just know when you find that ONE who completes you and who you are meant to be with. I am so very grateful for the hard times I have had to go through and over come to get to this point. Yes, there are a lot of aspects even right now that are very hard to live with everyday, and that I wish did not exist, but at the same time each and every battle is a battle worth a million words. I lived in a world of fear, fear of the unknown, fear of change and fear of regret.....I am finally in a place where i can say that all of those fears have turned into something amazingly wonderful. I would not trade them for the world. I love the fact that i over came the change, and that my body and mind was able to adjust to it all. Not only I, but my amazing children are living in happiness and not sadness. I can show them that love is a good thing, and that "mommy" can be happy and open them to a world of those same emotions. No child should have to live in a home where one or both parents are miserable. We may not see that it is actually effecting them since they see the togetherness of parents, but come the end of it all they feel every ounce of the pain and hurt in their supporters heart. Children are so resilient and bounce back so fast if given the love and support. Mine are doing amazingly well now and i will thank the fact that they see for once mommy is so happy and that is a feeling them nor i would change just to go back into a world of hurt and destruction. at the end of the day, i can lay my head down with a smile on my face knowing i have a great thing right now.....nothing could take away this feeling...nothing.

HMMMMMM ice cream man driving around at 5am??? kinda strange. time to go to bed!!! well, kinda.....time to lay down and drift off into a living dream, than take a nap later. haha....night night.