The Big "D" Day has arrived....

So today is the big day. The day where my status officially goes back to single, and my name is restored to its original state. I am over come with a thousand emotions and I am not quite sure what they are right now. I am feeling very happy because this is a very good thing, however I am a bit somber in the fact that it is now all real. I am not saying by any means that I do not want this, cause that is not the case. Just a weird feeling knowing in just a few hours I am going to be sitting in a court room listening to someone tell me that it is all real and that it is all really over. I would never change where I am at nor would I ever consider going back to what was. I think I just need to feel the relief when he announces his judgment and I than know I am truly free to live my life as I choose to. Gotta go get ready.....I am sure I will be back on here later.............



This is a must listen to song!!
TRACE ADKINS..."HAPPY TO BE HERE"

So Many close calls dodging wrecking balls
There ain’t no pitfall I didn’t fall through
Girl there’s no telling how I ever made it out
And lived to talk about the reckless things
I used to do

Oh to tell the truth
I shouldn’t be alive
I’ve seen the other side
All I can say is
I’m just happy to be here
Wrapped in your loving arms just like an answered prayer
There’s a God out there and I’m just happy to be here
Happy to be here

Baby When I see your face I’m in a better place
Girl I’m so blown away that heaven came down to me
How’d I get so lucky

I shouldn’t be alive
I’ve seen the other side
All I can say is
I’m just happy to be here
Wrapped in your loving arms just like an answered prayer
There’s a God out there and I’m just happy to be here
Right with you baby
For the rest of my life
I’m happy to be here
For the rest of my life
Right with you baby

Sleep??

Oh man, I am so torn right now. As you have read I am absolutely the happiest I have ever been, and now that I am to this enduring time in my life, ALL of those around me are stuck in some sort of rut. It truly hurts my heart to look around with this huge smile on my face and realize that I am the only one around me who is truly happy. It always seemed the opposite for me....everyone around me was happy while I was dealing with my battles, but now...it is so different. Maybe this is my way of giving back to all of those who helped me get through my hard times? I want to scream out to the world all the wonderful things happening in my life, yet I don't want to utter a word sometimes. I just truly wish these amazing people could be happy. Not just content, but truly and completely happy. I am not sure why this all just hit me right now, but it did. I have been sitting here thinking about the magnificent friends and family I have, those who have truly been my rock through it all and asked myself where each and everyone of them were in their lives. Some of course have their times of greatness but it seems as if I am the only one with no major life complaints for a change. Although this is a wonderful feeling for me to be where I am, I also want the same for everyone else. I know they will all get their someday, and that they will feel what I am feeling right now. I just hope it is sooner than later.....

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am shaking so bad right now i am not sure i can even type this out! These amazing and wonderful boys you see are from the band South of Somewhere! I have the grand pleasure of working directly side by side with them taking their pictures and getting to know each and everyone of them. Not only do they each have amazing musical talent, but they also are 6 of the most amazing people i have had the privilege of knowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And now not only have they helped me to bring out my photography, i just received phone call from Mr. Bobby Earl and they have been asked to open for BUCKY COVINGTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bobby Earl, I am so deeply proud of you for making it here!!!! The tears just wont stop flowing!!!!!!!!!!!! You sure are one amazing soul and one truly amazing artist!!!!!! Man i cant express my feelings on this enough. And the other great news with all this is that my pics seen below are being created into a poster for the show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo man!!! I am so touched and so happy and proud of them all, but most importantly Bobby for making this all happen!!!! We are all living our dreams together!!!!




Bobby Earl
Joe Panther

Matt Prouty

Ken Smith

Todd Isaac

Gil Guillia

Eric Church

Not only is Eric Church one HELL of a artist 3 (and plenty more) of his songs are ones that my baby has dedicated to me as well as me right back at him. :) just have to share these lyrics with ya!!

"Love Your Love The Most"

I Love Sleeping In On Saturdays
And I Love College Football Games
I Love Not Acting My Age
And A Good Barbeque

Yeah I'm A Fan Of Faulkner Books
And Anything My Mama Cooks
Small Mouth Bass Have Got Me Hooked
On Sunday Afternoon

Yes I Love Good Cold Beer
And Mustard On My Fries
I Love A Good Loud Honky Tonk
That Rocks On Friday Night
And Hell Yes I Love My Truck
But I Want You To Know
Honey I Love Your Love The Most

Man I Love How Redman Taste
And Damn I Love My Nascar Race
Any Song Sung By George Strait
Is Country At It's Best

Yes I Love Good Cold Beer
And Mustard On My Fries
I Love A Good Loud Honky Tonk
That Rocks On Friday Night
And Hell Yes I Love My Truck
But I Want You To Know
Honey I Love Your Love The Most

I Love

Yeah I Love Scuffed Up Cowboy Boots
And Broke In Tore Up Jeans
A Four Wheel Drive Eight Point Bucks
And Rocky Road Ice Cream
And Hell Yes I Love My Dog
And Jack D In My Coke
But Honey I Love Your Love

Yeah I Love Your Love The Most
I Love Your Love The Most


"Without You Here"

Without you here everything's in black and white
Without you here I'm upside down
Without you here honey I'm a melody
Living in a world that can't hear sound

If these boots could fit a railroad track
I'd be gone and never look back
If my thumb could flag a wild wind down
I'd lean back and let it blow me around
And try to land anywhere other than without you here

Without you here every breath is wasted
Without you here I'm just a ghost
Without you here I'm stranded at the station
And my mind caught the last train for the coast

If this truck were a time machine
I'd rev it up and let it carry me
Light years away or on down the line
I'd give the shirt off my back or my last dime
If it can take me anywhere other than without you here

There's roads and sky, boats and wine
A million ways to leave you behind
I don't know where
But there's still life out there
Not without you here, not without you here

Cause without you here everything's in black and white
Without you here I'm upside down
Without you here honey I'm a melody
Living in a wold that can't hear sound


"You Make It Look So Easy"

I got a hard head, I get that from my dad
And I can overreact maybe just a tad
I put up walls to show the world I'm tough
When i don't get my way, I get difficult
But when it comes to lovin' me
Baby you make it look so easy

You're my refuge from the road
A safe place to go
When I'm out here livin' on this ledge
And when I'm circlin' the drain
You keep my crazy sane
And quiet all the voices in my head

I'm probably wrong more than I say
And I'd point that out if you were that way
Yeah I'm hard to love and ever harder to live with
And I know there's days when you just want to up and quit
But when it comes to lovin' me
Baby you make it look so easy

You're my compass when I'm lost
My anchor when I get tossed
And the right way when all I can do is wrong
Sometimes I drink 'til I fall down
but your arms save me from the ground
And hold me 'til all the hurt is gone

I got a hard head, I was born that way
And that makes me wrong more than I say
But I thank God you got a hard head too
I guess he must have known you'd need that
To get us through
'Cause when it comes to lovin' me
Baby you make it look so easy
Yeah baby you make it look so easy

"SMITTEN"

Yes, it has been quite awhile since i have posted on here and in a lot of ways I can say that is a good thing. I say that because it means that my life is taking a new path, and for once it is truly and deeply wonderful. My business is finally taking off and i have a very special someone to thank for so much for that. Though he may not know, his insight, strength, wisdom and support has led me to find apart of myself i have only dreamt about. It is now 4:30am (yes i am crazy) but after just hanging up the phone with the one i can honestly say has inspired me in so many ways my mind just cant shut off quite yet. My whole world in the past 4 months has taken a change that i did not see coming. A turn into a world that I always looked at through a broken window in hopes of one day clearing the cracks and seeing the real picture. Due to the grace of God and in my belief the guidance of a few others from up above, those cracks are gone and I am able to now see what true love and beauty is. Throughout the course of this relationship i have been able to experience the joy of peace, harmony, respect, passion. compassion, the soulfulness of another being, the true beauty in faith and love, the unconditional aspects that can really be brought into a life, and above all the ultimate high of feeling totally and utterly complete. My "puzzle" that has been so scattered is now piecing itself together and making the most amazing picture known to man. I wish every living creature weather it be human, animal or even terrestrial could experience or even feel a glimpse of what I am feeling. Everyone deserves this sort of happiness. Though times may seem as if I am reaching out and no one is there to grasp my hand and pull me out of the whirlwind of loneliness, I know deep down I am not alone. I have the most amazing people surrounding me right now, and I have one truly wonderful man reaching for me just as much as i am reaching for him. We have a few angels helping to pull us together and show us that love is real, and TRUE love is something that really is a deep emotional encounter that takes over your entire body. Not just your mind and heart, but your soul and every inch of who you are. Treacherous paths can cause havoc and some situations can make you wonder what is going to come of it all, but in the end if you can climb the mountain and see the light of day on the other side, together you can conquer the world.

I can say with confidence that i have found the one.....we have found each other. Seems so strange to say or even think for that matter, cause I really gave up on the hope that this type of thing even existed. I know there are a few long roads ahead for the both of us, and I know that times are not always going to be as perfect as we both hope for, but one thing I do know is that the emptiness and the hurt I have felt throughout the course of my life is no longer going to linger with me. I have been able to move past it and I have been able to really see that every crack in my window was worth it. As much as somethings hurt, and as much as I didn't think I would ever recover, my soul mate, the one who is completing my world came to me with just a glimpse and a few simple words.

Some may say that this is all because it is so new, and so exciting, but I know that is not the case. You just know when you find that ONE who completes you and who you are meant to be with. I am so very grateful for the hard times I have had to go through and over come to get to this point. Yes, there are a lot of aspects even right now that are very hard to live with everyday, and that I wish did not exist, but at the same time each and every battle is a battle worth a million words. I lived in a world of fear, fear of the unknown, fear of change and fear of regret.....I am finally in a place where i can say that all of those fears have turned into something amazingly wonderful. I would not trade them for the world. I love the fact that i over came the change, and that my body and mind was able to adjust to it all. Not only I, but my amazing children are living in happiness and not sadness. I can show them that love is a good thing, and that "mommy" can be happy and open them to a world of those same emotions. No child should have to live in a home where one or both parents are miserable. We may not see that it is actually effecting them since they see the togetherness of parents, but come the end of it all they feel every ounce of the pain and hurt in their supporters heart. Children are so resilient and bounce back so fast if given the love and support. Mine are doing amazingly well now and i will thank the fact that they see for once mommy is so happy and that is a feeling them nor i would change just to go back into a world of hurt and destruction. at the end of the day, i can lay my head down with a smile on my face knowing i have a great thing right now.....nothing could take away this feeling...nothing.

HMMMMMM ice cream man driving around at 5am??? kinda strange. time to go to bed!!! well, kinda.....time to lay down and drift off into a living dream, than take a nap later. haha....night night.